The truth is that I am a good mom. I’m even a confident mom most of the time, but the struggle with negative mom self talk is real. I have a son who is in the 7th grade and he recently started a new school. Middle School can be lonely when you are the new kid and have to change classes to a new set of kids every period. Middle Schoolers can be harsh – it’s just something about that age group. I think every prayer that I have prayed over the past month has included my son’s transition into this new environment from a small charter school last year (where he was known, loved and popular).
Honestly, there have been nights where he has cried himself to sleep… and then so have I.
This is when the struggle with negative mom self talk rears it’s ugly head.
My inner voice shouts emotionally at me and then the voice of reason answers back quietly :
1. I wish I could homeschool! (You can’t. You work. You have to work. You need to work. You like to work.)
2. We should have kept him at his old school! (He wasn’t being challenged. You prayed about this (like, a lot!!) before you decided to change schools.)
3. Worry, get anxious, you are ruining your kid! (No. You have sought the Lord’s direction in all of your parenting decisions and especially these changes. Growing pains and discomfort are all a part of change… you and your son are experiencing this. He will be strengthened through this experience. Do not stop him from growing because you hurt for him and feel helpless. He is not in danger and is being stretched emotionally and in his faith. This is preparing him for manhood!)
We are now several weeks into this school year. Two big blessings this week –
1. He made the baseball team! Now, at least he has a small group of boys that he can recognize around campus.
2. He is not eating lunch by himself anymore!
Be Encouraged, Moms!
The struggle with negative mom self talk is huge with us Moms. What I have learned is that if I am dealing with something difficult – praying through it is the key. All of the doubt and negative self talk and emotions can be set straight when that voice of reason is allowed to speak calmly over the frenzy I can put myself in. (Listen to that still, small voice. ) Chances are great that if you are questioning your mothering skills, you are right there with the rest of us. With all that I was feeling, I knew that my response needed to be one of strength and encouragement for my son. He was emotional, but trusted me to be his mom – not his emotional counterpart. What I felt like doing is reacting and what I needed to do in responding properly, were two different things. Do what you need to do, Moms… you and your kids will be better for it.
“In quietness and confidence will be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15
From my heart and home to yours,